TBD on Ning

A place to post about the things that cause us anxiety, discomfort, or just plain old fashioned apoplexy!

This morning I am challenged by the thought of a friend I have known for some 15 or 20 years, heading off to court for sentencing for DUI. Mandatory jail time. This is not someone who would be a good candidate for jail, so I wish her well, but I would wager I'll not be on the visitor's line. The whole thing has made me feel conflicting emotions, and it's a challenge to cut the Mother Apron Strings and just let what will be... be.

Dear friend, what happened,
what lead to this very day?
Headed off to jail!

Tags: challenge, difficulty, ire, juxtaposition

Views: 30

Replies to This Discussion

shocking twists and turns
unexpected betrayals
wounds that never heal

I love your candor, jaki...I especially admire your willingness to share your ambivalence about your friend's situation: "I wish her well, but I would wager I'll not be on the visitor's line." Yes. Very difficult.

We care and support, and yet it doesn't ensure anything. We love, but while our love can create an environment where change is possible, there is no guarantee of change. In fact, I've learned that the cliche, "I can only change myself," is really an axiom. Of course you, and most grownups, know this from experience.

Being human is tough.
Absolutely. Poetry, to me, is about expressing the things that really affect us on a personal level. Sometimes they are more painful, or conflicting, than funny or amusing. Being human is what this trip is all about. Hopefully, we are humane to each other along the way. Maybe some people will choose to write something that comes from difficult emotions here.

My only advice,
"Don't bring home any new friends."
She got 30 days.

My only hope is,
that she will detox... about
7 to 10 days...

...end up in a nice, safe, warm rehab center where there are no mind-altering pills and certainly no booze. Jails are not equipped to deal with drug and alcohol withdrawal. I am really pulling for rehab, she might have a chance at having a REAL life instead of just existing.

The co-dependent BF needs to hit the bricks, too. He will bring her right back in to Hell. He encourages bad behaviors.
Yes. Without knowing her (and assuming that she hurt no one while DUI), I agree that rehab is a better place than jail. My only problem with so many rehab set-ups, particularly those administered by a government agency, is that 2 weeks seems to be the maximum stay. Depending on the length and severity of her addiction, and several other factors, 2 weeks (or a month) isn't even enough to scratch the surface.

I agree. If the BF is abetting her, then it would be best that they be apart. It's ideal when an addict can return to a different situation than they left; but that so infrequently happens.

If you intend to be part of her life when she returns, may I suggest Alanon. It's a place to listen and learn from others dealing with addicts...and to share your feelings and experiences in a safe environment. I found it very helpful.

I'm going to write to you in private. Let's talk more about this...

watching helplessly
seeing our love slip away
drowned in booze and pills

creative genius
slow descent into madness
a great artist lost
Sure, please do. I have had to learn all about this in the past. Thing is, people don't tend to learn from other people's mistakes. They have to do the same fool things!

Yes, most programs keep them only long enough to detox. She will not have been sober long enough when she gets out. unless of course she is horrified at what she sees there, and is somehow "reformed" by such a negative culture.

She was not raised for this sort of thing!

Oh, girl friend, why you?
Why any of us really...
My heart grieves for you.
I'm in the "I don't understand" place now.

standing straight and tall
the oak weathers countless storms
then becomes willow
Oh Brine, you have that magic with words.....
confusion abounds
system riddled with chaos
elusive answers
Dreaming, dreaming you
still are alive and we chat,
aimlessly, old friend.

This one is for my college buddy, who passed away 2 years ago. I thought, it was only one year, but it was confirmed by another mutual friend's diary entry to be 2 whole years ago....
The elusive high,
the pursuit of selfishness.
These things are toxic!
You stupefy me...
to casually throw it
all away like that!




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