Mindfulness

[PartTimeBrewer]

              I am starting a new thread here mainly for purposes of my own catharsis. It is my intention, at least at this point, to make regular contributions. Of course, if anyone else has anything to add, they are more than welcome. If you have any input, please contribute.

              Over a year ago I decided to deal head-on with my self-diagnosed adult attention disorder, (ADD). The inability to stay focused was becoming too stressful. I found myself sitting around watching the clock tick, yet I couldn’t keep “on task” with any project I started. Nothing was getting done and just starting something was becoming depressing.

              The smart thing to do was probably to get professional help, so instead I decided to try to heal myself, at least as a first try. Cognitive therapy and pharmaceuticals (UGH) might be the approved way to go but I decided to try meditation first.

              18 months and countless self-help books later, I still can’t bring myself to a regular, formal meditation program. But, along the way, I discovered informal mindfulness. Yes, I know it is the “Fad” right now. It is hard to navigate modern social trends without “tripping over” somebody extolling the benefits of mindfulness.

              Let me add my voice to the chorus.

[PartTimeBrewer]

[PartTimeBrewer]

"Sometimes you don't need to say anything to make someone feel better."

[PartTimeBrewer]

"You aren't stuck in traffic, you ARE traffic."  ~  Advertising slogan for TomTom

"We blame society,, but we ARE society."  ~  Anonymous

Every word we say, every action we take is effectively a vote for something. Some idea, or desire; some outcome. How easy it is to work from impulse without considering where the 'dominos' might fall. I don't have a crystal ball, so I can't always be certain, but that's not an excuse to blunder along without trying to be responsible. Some pitfalls can be avoided. The rest are learning experiences, but only if I am paying attention.

[PartTimeBrewer]

Which is better, having what you want or wanting what you have?. Wanting what you have may be fine, so long as it doesn't leave you stagnate. I think the problem with wanting more only comes when it causes you to depreciate what you have. Why not the best of both? If you practice gratitude for what you have, it doesn't mean you can't appreciate having more. Only when the wants become strong attachments do they bring unhappiness.

While you're questioning attachments, question the permanence of what you have. Are material possessions really "all that." My most valuable possessions are my hard earned skills and attitudes. And there is nothing wrong with both appreciating them and saying "I can do better."

[PartTimeBrewer]

"Some people are so poor, all they have is money."  ~  Anonymous

[Westerly_2]

Great!

[PartTimeBrewer]

"Man sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health.  And then he is so anxious about the future that he doesn't enjoy the present. The result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived." ~ The Dalai Lama

[PartTimeBrewer]

The equanimity that comes with mindfulness goes a long way toward maintaining tolerance and patience with difficult people. This in turn increases the likelihood of achieving positive outcomes of situations. But sometimes there is a fine line between being patient and taking abuse. If I can realistically believe loving kindness will prevail over strife, fine. If I am clinging to a false hope for fear of losing something or someone, well maybe it's time to walk away.

Of course the trick is how to recognize which it is. This is where mindfulness comes full circle. The same equanimity that encourages patience with others, provides the calmness to make a measured decision and then accept the consequences.

[PartTimeBrewer]

Yesterday's missive about patience and tolerance was focused on relationships with other people, but much they same can be said about trying situations as well, like those contributing to job stress or career burnout. I'm retired now, I had the patience to tolerate a less than ideal work setting for thirty years, but I will always wonder if that was a positive quality or just fear of change

[PartTimeBrewer]

"People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar."  ~  Thich Nhat Hahn

[PartTimeBrewer]

Sometimes when two words seem to have multiple interchangeable meanings it is useful (in my own private thinking) to arbitrarily assign one meaning to one and another meaning to the other. Take 'cost' and 'price for instance', I can think of the price of an item as referring to how many dollars I need to trade in to obtain that item and the cost indicating the consequences in my life for actually purchasing it. For instance, I might consider paying a price of $1,000 for some new smart phone, but the cost might be my marriage when my wife finds out. On the other hand, I could facetime my grandchildren.

What's this got to do with mindfulness? When choices have to be made, often the true 'cost' involves time, time with others. And sometimes in our rush to accumulate 'things', we do so at the expense of 'time'. Maybe I should spend my resources on visiting my grandchildren in real time. Staying mindful of my priorities helps clarify these choices.

[PartTimeBrewer]

"One day you will wake up and there won't be any more time to do the things you've always wanted to do. Do them now!"  ~  Paulo Coelho