TBD on Ning
Mindfulness
I am starting a new thread here mainly for purposes of my own catharsis. It is my intention, at least at this point, to make regular contributions. Of course, if anyone else has anything to add, they are more than welcome. If you have any input, please contribute.
Over a year ago I decided to deal head-on with my self-diagnosed adult attention disorder, (ADD). The inability to stay focused was becoming too stressful. I found myself sitting around watching the clock tick, yet I couldn’t keep “on task” with any project I started. Nothing was getting done and just starting something was becoming depressing.
The smart thing to do was probably to get professional help, so instead I decided to try to heal myself, at least as a first try. Cognitive therapy and pharmaceuticals (UGH) might be the approved way to go but I decided to try meditation first.
18 months and countless self-help books later, I still can’t bring myself to a regular, formal meditation program. But, along the way, I discovered informal mindfulness. Yes, I know it is the “Fad” right now. It is hard to navigate modern social trends without “tripping over” somebody extolling the benefits of mindfulness.
Let me add my voice to the chorus.
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by PartTimeBrewer on
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Sounds like me trying to brew with three thermometers. I wanted the mash to be between 150-155 degrees F., else there might be no beer. Two of them were in near agreement, but my instincts led me to think they were 15-20 degrees high. I suspect the 3rd one was a bit off also, but a lot closer.
The man with one watch may be confident he knows the time, but should consider, it might be wrong. The man with two watches maybe less confident, but at least he knows he has a problem. Sometimes certainty is all you need. Sometimes accuracy counts more.
But yes, it's only possible to focus on one thing at a time, and often there is too much conflicting data. This strikes close to one of my major faults. I often become frozen with indecision because I am trying to collect more data.
And for better or worse, what you focus on does become your reality.
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When you come to the point that you have no need to impress anybody, your freedom will begin.
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When I am no concerned with just succeeding, I can work with complete freedom.
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Yesterday I accompanied my wife, for moral support, to the hospital for her annual mammogram. As a ten year survivor of breast cancer, this is, understandably, stressful for her and will continue to be so until she gets the results next Monday. Afterward, to help relieve the tension, we went out for a drink and early dinner at a nice casual dining restaurant. Instead of each ordering an entree, we ordered three appetizers to split, along with a bowl of soup each and a beer (wine in her case.)
It was a nice place, a nice setting, good food, music etc. I decided to try some "mindful eating". Every mindful training program has a mindful eating component where you take some simple food and mindful savor all of its sensory aspects. I didn't try to do this in such detail. I just sat there being intentionally aware of all the sensations of my environment, not just the flavors but the whole scene. I was able to escape all thoughts of anything else going on in our lives. I held just that experience in that time.
It was like learning to live anew. I have not felt like that since I was in my 20's, and just striking out on my own. But it wasn't just a personal euphoria, there was a spontaneous sense of benevolence and gratitude as well. This stuff does work.
But being a rational, logical type of person, I still struggle with the 'chicken or egg' aspect of this. On the one hand there is this message not to get attached to tightly to a goal of achieving happiness and just learning to accept, with equanimity what emotion you have. On the other hand, here is a formula for achieving happiness. Trust the butterfly. let it go. It will realight.
(To be continued)
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Permalink Reply by Westerly_2 on
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(looking forward to it)
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The Buddhists have a concept called metta, which translates to loving-kindness or benevolence. They cherish it highly and every meditation system that I have seen, whether Buddhist or secular, has a dedicated metta program where the practitioner focuses his attention on phrases where he is projecting a sense of goodwill on a series of entities including friends, enemies, strangers, him/herself, all life, and the entire universe. The theory behind it, apparently, is "you are what you think", a phrase sometimes attributed to the Buddah, himself. It seems like a dedicated effort to reinforce positive attitudes. Sounds like a noble program, right?
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Well, to me it sounds more like an effort to 'stalk the butterfly', where the butterfly is any sort of positive feeling you may have become attached to. My experience in the restaurant was surely an example of metta. I achieved it by intentionally being aware of my surroundings, but I was NOT focusing on any sort of emotional reward. That just emerged. I think much of the literature 'out there' is contradictory and deeply confused about cause and effect.
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Here's another quote, this time from Eckhart Tolle.
"What a liberation to realize that 'the voice in my head' is not me."
How does that fit? To me, mindful meditation is being aware of thoughts and emotions without judging them or reinforcing some at the expense of others.
And to be fair to the Buddah, "You are what you think." is probably a false attribution. Although industrialist Andrew Carnegie did say it.
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Feelings are just visitors. Let them come and go.
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Sometimes things just 'fall into your lap', even without trying. Serendipity rules. Just by accident, I stumbled across an article from the Harvard Gazette that reports research into the very question I have been exploring the past few days. They Identified two different styles of mindfulness meditation that are being used to treat people for stress; The Relaxation Response asks practitioners to deliberately try to relax tension in the body and Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction, MBSR, asks them only to take note of stress without trying to actively change anything. Pretty much the dilemma I have been trying to understand.
The Verdict? Both programs reduce stress and increase mindfulness but the MBSR led to more improvements in self-compassion and rumination. Furthermore, neuroimaging indicated that the two methods affect the brain differently and therefore work by different methods.
Yeah, I know it's just one small study and I don't know if it was properly conducted, but today I feel vindicated. Tomorrow I may play Devil's Advocate.
https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2018/06/mindfulness-meditati...
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The mind likes to take you down dark, dangerous alleys. Mindfulness allows you to say "No, we're not going down there.' - #mindfulness
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