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Comment by Aggie on October 20, 2010 at 8:31pm

Comment by Aggie on September 10, 2010 at 8:22pm

Men vs. Women
Thought this was a cute comparison....
MAN:
1) Pull up to machine
2) Wind window down
3) Insert ATM card, enter PIN
4) Retrieve cash
5) Drive away

WOMAN:
1) Pull up to machine
2) Open door (too far away from machine)
3) Search through all of the 112 compartments in handbag for ATM card
4) Do make up, apply lipstick, fix hair
5) Insert Card
6) Remove card
7) Insert card the correct way up
8) Search for piece of paper with PIN on it
9) Enter PIN
10) Enter correct PIN
11) Retrieve cash, put in bag
12) Drive off
13) Reverse back to machine
14) Retrieve card
15) Drive three miles away
16) Release hand-brake

Comment by Aggie on September 5, 2010 at 9:49am

Comment by Aggie on September 2, 2010 at 6:33pm

An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?' The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, 'Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair,Given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy. Do you still wanna tell that
blonde joke?'
The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters,
'No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.'

Comment by Aggie on September 2, 2010 at 6:17pm

Comment by Aggie on September 1, 2010 at 6:16pm

*POOF*, the light goes off
A 88-year-old man goes for a physical. All of his
tests come back with normal results. The doctor says,
'Harold, everything looks great. How are you doing
mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?'

Harold replies, 'God and I are tight.
He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it for
when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the
bathroom, *poof*, the light goes on. When I'm done,
*poof*, the light goes off.'

'Wow, that's incredible,' the doctor
says.

A little later in the day, the doctor calls
Harold's wife. ' Winona ,' he says, 'Harold
is doing fine but I had to call you because I'm in awe
of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up
during the night and *poof *, the light goes on in the
bathroom, and when he's done, *poof* the light goes
off?'

'OH MY GOSH!' Winona exclaims. 'He's
peeing in the fridge again!!!!'.

Comment by Aggie on August 31, 2010 at 5:35pm

The Secret To A Long Life....
A doctor on his morning walk, noticed the old lady,
· sitting on her front step smoking a cigar, so he walked up to her and said,
· "I couldn't help but notice how happy you look! What is your secret?"
· "I smoke ten cigars a day," she said. "Before I go to bed, I smoke a nice big joint.
· Apart from that, I drink a whole bottle of Jack Daniels every week, and eat only junk food.
· On weekends, I pop pills, get laid, and don't exercise at all."
·
"That is absolutely amazing! How old are you?"
·
"Forty," she replied

Comment by michael clubb on July 29, 2010 at 6:35pm

Gawd! I laughed myself silly watching the invisible mirror gag. then watch a bunch of other funny ones too. Great stuff

Comment by Aggie on July 29, 2010 at 5:59pm

Have you seen a pink 1958 Volvo tractor?

Comment by Aggie on June 1, 2010 at 4:10pm

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