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Keep Laughing!

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The Place to crack up! Laughing is allowed 24/7!

Members: 193
Latest Activity: Apr 9

Started by EddieDingo. Last reply by Aggie Apr 9.

Started by EddieDingo. Last reply by Aggie Apr 2.

Started by ozzieowl. Last reply by Aggie Feb 27.

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Comment by metub4 on November 12, 2010 at 5:16pm: A WOMAN'S (REAL) PRAYER:
Now I lay me
Down to sleep.
I pray the Lord
My shape to keep.
Please no wrinkles
Please no bags
And please lift my butt
Before it sags.
Please no age spots
Please no gray

And as for my belly,

Please take it away.

Please keep me healthy

Please keep me young,

And thank you Dear Lord

For all that you've done.

Five tips for a woman....

1. It is important that a man helps you around
the house and has a job.

2. It is important that a man makes you
laugh.

3. It is important to find a man you can count
on and doesn't lie to you.

4. It is important that a man loves you and
spoils you.

5. It is important that these four men don't
know each other.

Foot Note:

One saggy boob said to the other saggy boob:
"If we don't get some support soon, people will think
we're nuts."

Comment by Aggie on November 3, 2010 at 5:59pm: A State Trooper on the NYS Thruway (I90) gave me a ticket
the other day.

Speeding? No.

I was driving in the Granny lane (slow) and the Trooper
pulled up beside me. I hit a pheasent that stepped into the
road from the shoulder. Flew across the lane, hit the
Trooper's windshield and broke it.

The Trooper gave me the ticket for flipping him the bird.

Comment by Aggie on November 2, 2010 at 7:10pm: A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says, "You've been brought here for drinking."

The drunk says "Okay, let's get started."

Comment by Aggie on November 1, 2010 at 9:19pm: Oh, Those Cowboys!
I don't want to cause anyone further upset, but these are funny.

The Texas State Police are cracking down on speeders heading into Dallas .
For the first offense, they give you 2 Dallas Cowboy tickets.

If you get stopped a second time, they make you use them.

Q. What do you call 47 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl?

A. The Dallas Cowboys

Q. What do the Dallas Cowboys and Billy Graham have in common?

A. They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ".

Q. How do you keep a Dallas Cowboy out of your yard?

A. Put up a goal post.

Q. What do you call a Dallas Cowboy with a Super Bowl ring?

A. Old

Q. What's the difference between the Dallas Cowboys and a dollar bill?

A. You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

Q. How many Dallas Cowboys does it take to win a Super Bowl?

A. Nobody remembers.

Q. What do the Cowboys and a possums have in common?

A. Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!

Comment by Aggie on October 27, 2010 at 8:07pm: Mother's Milk

Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk,' worth 70 points or none at all. One student, in particular, was hard put to think of seven advantages. He wrote:

1.) It is perfect formula for the child.
2.) It provides immunity against several diseases.
3.) It is always the right temperature.
4.) It is inexpensive.
5.) It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa.
6.) It is always available as needed.

And then, the student was stuck. Finally, in desperation, just before the bell indicating the end of the test rang, he wrote...

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7.) It comes in 2 cute containers.