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Keep Laughing!

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Keep Laughing!

The Place to crack up! Laughing is allowed 24/7!

Members: 193
Latest Activity: yesterday

Discussion Forum

Battle of the sexes 381 Replies

Started by EddieDingo. Last reply by Aggie yesterday.

Sharing The Joy Of All Animals 89 Replies

Started by ozzieowl. Last reply by Aggie Feb 27.

Blondes, Aggies, Pollocks, Morons, Little Patsy, Lena and Ole 329 Replies

Started by EddieDingo. Last reply by Aggie Feb 14.

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Comment by metub4 on December 7, 2010 at 3:51pm
Any married man should forget his mistakes, there’s no use in two people remembering the same thing.
Comment by Aggie on December 6, 2010 at 8:49pm
A Fairy Tale for you guys out there
Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess..

"Will you marry me?"

The Princess said "NO!"

And the Prince lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf and dated women half his age and drank beer and scotch
and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.

The End
Comment by Aggie on December 5, 2010 at 11:54pm
Sleeping Arrangements
When a family moved into their new house, a visiting relative asked the little five-year-old how he liked the new place.

"It's terrific," he said. "I have my own room, my brother has his own room, and my sister has her own room. But poor mom is still sleeping with dad."
Comment by metub4 on December 4, 2010 at 9:16pm
Something Christmas

Three men die in a car accident Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the pearly gates waiting to enter heaven. On entering they are told that they must present something “Christmassy.” in order to get in.
The first man searches his pocket, and finds some pine needles from the family’s Christmas tree. He is let it.
The second man presents a bow and some ribbon, from presents that were opened earlier in that night. So he is also allowed in.
The third man pulls out a pair of panties.
Confused at this last gesture, St. Peter asks, “How do these represent Christmas?”
To which he replies, “Oh, They’re Carol’s.”
Comment by metub4 on December 4, 2010 at 7:09am
SNORES

A woman has a dog who snores in his sleep. She goes to the vet to see if he can help. The vet tells the woman to tie a ribbon around the dog’s testicles and he will stop snoring.

A few hours after going to bed the dog is snoring as usual. She goes to the closet and grabs a piece of ribbon, ties it around the dog’s testicles, and sure enough the dog stops snoring. The woman is amazed.

Later that night her husband comes home drunk after being out with his buddies. He climbs into bed, falls asleep, and begins snoring very loudly.

The woman thinks maybe the ribbon will work on him. She goes to the closet again, grabs a piece of ribbon, and ties it around her husband’s testicles. Amazingly it also works on him. The woman sleeps very soundly.

The next morning the husband wakes up very hung over. He stumbles into the bathroom to do his business, and as he stands in front of the toilet, he looks in the mirror and sees a blue ribbon attached to his scrotum. He is very confused. He walks back into the bedroom and sees a red ribbon attached to his dog’s scrotum.

He looks at the dog and says, “Rex old fella, I don’t remember what the hell happened last night, but wherever we were, we took first and second place.
Comment by Aggie on December 2, 2010 at 9:43pm
Two Irish men looking though a catalogue, Paddy says , Look at those gorgeous women, the prices are reasonable too' Mick agrees.

'I am ordering one of them right now' 3 weeks later, Paddy says 'Has your women turned up yet?' "No" said Mick "but it shouldn't be long now, her clothes arrived yesterday."
Comment by Aggie on December 2, 2010 at 9:00pm
THE AUSTRALIAN APPROACH
A young Aussie lad moved to London and went to Harrods looking for a job.

The manager asked 'Do you have any sales experience?'

The young man answered 'Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Dubbo.'

The manager liked the Aussie so he gave him the job.

His first day was challenging and busy, but he got through it.



After the store was locked up, the manager came down and asked, 'OK, so how many sales did you make today?'

The Aussie said 'One!'

The manager groaned and continued, 'Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day.

How much was the sale for?' '£124,237.64p.'

The manager choked and exclaimed £124,237.64!! What the hell did you sell him?'

'Well, first I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium fish hook and then I sold him a new fishing rod.'

'Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down at the coast, so I told him he would need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him that twin-engine Power Cat.'

'Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to car sales and I sold him the 4 x4



The manager, incredulous, said, 'You mean to tell me...a guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and a 4x4?'

'No, no, no... he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his lady friend and I said...

'Well, since your weekend's buggered mate, you might as well go fishing.'
Comment by Aggie on December 1, 2010 at 8:45pm
Never Lose Your Grandson !
A heart-warming story.

A small grandson got lost at the shopping mall..........

He approached a uniformed security guard and said, I've lost my grandpa!"

The guard asked, "What's his name?"
"Grandpa"

The guard smiled, then asked, "What's he like?"

The little tyke hesitated for a moment and then replied, "Jim Beam whiskey, and women with big boobs."
Comment by metub4 on December 1, 2010 at 3:52am
Like that one Aggie
Comment by Aggie on November 30, 2010 at 9:50pm

 

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