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Keep Laughing!

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Keep Laughing!

The Place to crack up! Laughing is allowed 24/7!

Members: 190
Latest Activity: on Sunday

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Blondes, Aggies, Pollocks, Morons, Little Patsy, Lena and Ole 92 Replies

Started by EddieDingo. Last reply by Aggie Oct 9.

Battle of the sexes 211 Replies

Started by EddieDingo. Last reply by Aggie Oct 9.

Child Chatter 25 Replies

Started by ozzieowl. Last reply by Aggie Oct 6.

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Comment by Margie Arias on August 13, 2009 at 12:06pm
Will I Live to see 80?
I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, he said I was doing 'fairly well' for my age.
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, 'Do you think I'll live to be 80?'
He asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer or wine?'
'Oh no,' I replied.. 'I'm not doing drugs, either!'
Then he asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?
'I said, 'Not much... my former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!'
'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?'
'No, I don't,' I said.
He asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?'
'No,' I said.
He looked at me and said,... 'Then, why do you even give a shit?'
Comment by Billy Bones on August 13, 2009 at 10:26am
Hey Kristy and Margie... glad technique worked for ya... ;-)
Comment by harry smith on August 12, 2009 at 10:39pm
OC...that was a funny video, but depressing to see how "smart" our fellow Americans are.
Comment by Margie Arias on August 12, 2009 at 5:20pm
LOL...good video OC!
Comment by Margie Arias on August 12, 2009 at 4:48pm
That was soooooooooo funny Billy! lol
Comment by OCNaturalDoc on August 12, 2009 at 1:18pm

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Comment by OCNaturalDoc on August 12, 2009 at 11:29am
leave it to you, bb! LOL!
Comment by Billy Bones on August 12, 2009 at 6:44am
STRESS MANAGEMENT TECHNIQUE

Just in case you are having a rough day, here is a stress management technique recommended in all the latest psychological journals. The funny thing is that it really does work and will make you smile..

1 Picture yourself lying on your belly on a warm rock that hangs out over a crystal clear stream..


2. Picture yourself with both your hands dangling in the cool running water.


3. Birds are sweetly singing in the cool mountain air.


4. No one knows your secret place.


5. You are in total seclusion from that hectic place called the world.


6. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.


7. The water is so crystal clear that you can easily make out the face of the person you are holding underwater.

There!! See? It really does work... You're smiling already. :-)
Comment by Emmett S on August 11, 2009 at 8:37am
AAADD
KNOW THE SYMPTOMS......PLEASE READ!
Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder.
Somehow I feel better even though I have it!!
Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. -
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.

As I turn on the hose in the driveway,
I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

As I start toward the garage,
I notice mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys on the table,
put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,
and notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back
on the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think,
since I'm going to be near the mailbox
when I take out the garbage anyway,
I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my check book off the table,
and see that there is only one check left.

My extra checks are in my desk in the study,
so I go inside the house to my desk where
I find the can of Pepsi I'd been drinking.

I'm going to look for my checks,
but first I need to push the Pepsi aside
so that I don't accidentally knock it over.

The Pepsi is getting warm,
and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi,
a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye--they need water.
I put the Pepsi on the counter and discover my reading glasses that
I've been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk,
but first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter,
fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.
Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,
I'll be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table,
so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers,
but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

So, I set the remote back on the table,
get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to
remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:
the car isn't washed
the bills aren't paid
there is a warm can of
Pepsi sitting on the counter
the flowers don't have enough water,
there is still only 1 check in my check book,
I can't find the remote,
I can't find my glasses,
and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,
I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day,
and I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem,
and I'll try to get some help for it,
but first I'll check my e-mail....
Comment by OCNaturalDoc on August 11, 2009 at 1:41am
DEAR ABBY WAS AT A LOSS TO ANSWER THE FOLLOWING:

Dear Abby,
I joined the Navy to see the world. I've seen it. Now how do I get out?

Dear Abby,
I was married to Bill for three months and I didn't know he drank until one night he came home sober.

Dear Abby,
You told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in sex to send him to a doctor. Well, my husband lost all interest in sex and he is a doctor. Now what do I do?
 

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