A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.
His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.”
The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”
A husband thinking he was being funny said 2 his wife - 'Perhaps we should start washing ur clothes n 'Slim Fast'. Maybe it would take a few inches off of ur butt! The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. 'What the heck is this?' he said 2 himself as a little cloud appeared when he shook em out he hollered n2 the bathroom, 'Y did u put talcum powder in my underwear?' She replied 'It's not talcum powder; it's Miracle Grow!"
For their anniversary, a couple went out for a romantic dinner. Their teenage daughters said they would fix a dessert and leave it waiting. When they got home, they saw that the dining room table was beautifully set with china, crystal and candles, and there was a note that read: 'Your dessert is in the refrigerator. We are staying with friends, so go ahead and do something we wouldn't do!' 'I suppose,' the husband responded dryly, 'we could clean the house.'