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Laughter is the best medicine

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Laughter is the best medicine

I Even if there is nothing to laugh about, laugh on credit. ~Author Unknown

Members: 74
Latest Activity: Oct 30, 2013

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I'M IN THE WRONG DEPARTMENT

 Working on my team of merchandisers last week, we had the assignment of resetting the feminine hygiene section. I'll be the first to admit I don't know these products well. I'm not just talking…Continue

Started by Mark Joel Lane Dec 28, 2012.

LOST AND FOUND

 Our federal government has announced the formation of a needed and long overdue cabinet agency: the Department of Lost and Found. (DLF.org,). There has been an epidemic of epic proportions that has…Continue

Started by Mark Joel Lane Dec 20, 2012.

WAR ON OBESITY HITS NATION'S GUT

      In an unprecedented act two days ago, President Obama declared war on Denmark citing how Haagendazs ice cream has caused serious problems of increasing obesity and girth.  The President feels…Continue

Started by Mark Joel Lane Dec 19, 2012.

THE INCREDIBLE EGG

     What you are about to read really happened.  This is one of the most bizarre events in the annals of science. I was about to make scrambled eggs for breakfast this past weekend. Upon cracking…Continue

Started by Mark Joel Lane Dec 18, 2012.

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Comment by Merry on November 20, 2009 at 9:26pm
Comment by Mary Morris on November 20, 2009 at 4:01pm
How To Get Through Life

cid:7ab4cfd15b404d7e9345b639271ddbcb@brownies
Sleep as much as you can .....
cid:def94061bbbb47daa2b139609c160f5d@brownies
Read books that you enjoy...
cid:4c1e4c2bf76644858371b60a2d45c554@brownies
Play with simple things...
cid:e24bfe2c6ec044ad8f07bbc465559a5f@brownies
Do whatever you want --
Whenever you want...
cid:83e8052a651a44ce96fd74b07df77899@brownies
Look for affection when you need it...
cid:4db7754accf4430ea68ea6c238f00f2b@brownies
Get serious once in a while...
cid:369f3fd64ab04f99806d4bb808168a00@brownies
Forget about diets...
cid:fd44db3cf739465f8a44f01743df8e1e@brownies
Show some affection...
cid:6f4b903f27d34097bd6d4bfaaed19fdc@brownies
Get angry once in a while....
cid:5dc91b048a024957a2fab1a03c8f481a@brownies
Change your looks...
cid:17598548e2924438876a3eeb0c782be7@brownies
Above all, be happy,
Regardless of what
Your challenges may be...
cid:2b2912febd1646e5b014e79b72f32832@brownies
Have a great life!
cid:2217510041c14155b93fd4ad7a9cf4eb@brownies
May your troubles be less,
Your blessings more,
And may nothing but happiness
Come through your door.




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Comment by Rishi on November 19, 2009 at 9:25pm
Aggie you crack me up... good laughs
Comment by Aggie on November 19, 2009 at 9:16pm
A Round For The House
A drunk walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill."

So, the bartender does just that, and hands the man the bill. The drunk says, "I haven't got it." The bartender slaps the guy around a few times then throws him out into the street.

The very next day, the same drunk walks into the bar and once again says, "Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill." The bartender figures that he can't possibly be stupid enough to pull the same trick twice, so he gives him the benefit of the doubt. He pours a round of drinks for the house, has a drink himself, and hands the drunk the bill.

Again, the drunk says, "I haven't got it." The bartender can't believe it. He picks the guy up, beats the living daylights out of him, then throws him out into the street.

The next day, the same drunk walks back into the same bar and says, "Bartender, buy every one in the house a drink and give me the bill."

In disgust, the bartender says, "What, no drink for me this time?" The drunk replies, "Nope! You get too violent when you drink."
Comment by Aggie on November 19, 2009 at 9:14pm
Girls Night Out
Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.

The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!'
Comment by metub4 on November 19, 2009 at 4:45pm
A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa , taking her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles along for the company.
One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.

The old poodle thinks, 'Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!' Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap the old poodle exclaims loudly, 'Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?'
Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. 'Whew!' says the leopard, 'That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!'
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.
The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, 'Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!
Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, 'What am I going to do now?', but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says,
'Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!
Moral of this story....
Don't mess with old farts .. Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! Bullshit and brilliance only come with age and experience.
Comment by Carl R Lindstrom on November 19, 2009 at 7:39am
Comment by Sonja Hartt on November 18, 2009 at 8:49pm
Thanks Aggie and metub4
Comment by Donna L Geisler on November 18, 2009 at 7:53pm
Love the 4 questions started by metub4! I do believe you can cry underwater...think I've done it actually! AND I believe it's only a penny for your thoughts because most people don't want to know all you want to tell them when they "put their two cents in"! Those are my thoughts .... for what they're worth!!!!

A
Comment by Aggie on November 18, 2009 at 7:19pm
Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi

• 2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University
Hospital = 1 I.V. League

• 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won Ton

• 1 millionth mouthwash = 1 microscope
 

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