Laughter is the best medicine Discussions - TBD2024-03-28T18:14:52Zhttp://teebeedee.ning.com/group/humoristhebestmedicine/forum?groupUrl=humoristhebestmedicine&feed=yes&xn_auth=noBanana split pleasetag:teebeedee.ning.com,2021-05-18:1991841:Topic:19864392021-05-18T12:29:49.022ZJozeehttp://teebeedee.ning.com/profile/Josephine
<p><strong><span class="auto-style41"><font class="auto-style9">A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly,</font></span><span class="auto-style14"><font class="auto-style9"><span class="auto-style43"> </span></font></span><span class="auto-style9">painfully, up</span><span class="auto-style9"> </span></strong><span class="auto-style9">onto a stool… After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?' 'No,' he…</span></p>
<p><strong><span class="auto-style41"><font class="auto-style9">A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly,</font></span><span class="auto-style14"><font class="auto-style9"><span class="auto-style43"> </span></font></span><span class="auto-style9">painfully, up</span><span class="auto-style9"> </span></strong><span class="auto-style9">onto a stool… After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?' 'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'</span></p> Halloween Cartoontag:teebeedee.ning.com,2020-10-28:1991841:Topic:19001112020-10-28T04:04:22.520ZWendyhttp://teebeedee.ning.com/profile/WendySainsot
<p><img src="https://connect.xfinity.com/appsuite/api/image/mail/picture?folder=default0%2FINBOX&id=159011&uid=8556e69010cd4bff93f490712debc6a5%40Open-Xchange"/></p>
<p><img src="https://connect.xfinity.com/appsuite/api/image/mail/picture?folder=default0%2FINBOX&id=159011&uid=8556e69010cd4bff93f490712debc6a5%40Open-Xchange"/></p> Cartoontag:teebeedee.ning.com,2020-10-13:1991841:Topic:18902752020-10-13T05:54:21.383ZWendyhttp://teebeedee.ning.com/profile/WendySainsot
<p><img src="https://img2.dreamies.de/img/426/b/6k23jyk26ii.jpg"/></p>
<p><img src="https://img2.dreamies.de/img/426/b/6k23jyk26ii.jpg"/></p> Halloween Jokestag:teebeedee.ning.com,2020-10-13:1991841:Topic:18903622020-10-13T05:48:40.534ZWendyhttp://teebeedee.ning.com/profile/WendySainsot
<p>Q: What do you get when you take the circumference of your <br></br> jack-o-lantern and divide it by its diameter?<br></br> A: Pumpkin Pi</p>
<p>Q: What are a vampire's favourite snacks?<br></br> A: Adam's apples and nectarines.</p>
<p>Q: What is a zombie's favourite dessert?<br></br> A: Ladyfingers.</p>
<p>Q: Why do ghosts write in Latin?<br></br> A: It's a dead language.</p>
<p>Q: Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?<br></br> A: Because he didn't have any guts.</p>
<p>Q: What kind of car does a ghost…</p>
<p>Q: What do you get when you take the circumference of your <br/> jack-o-lantern and divide it by its diameter?<br/> A: Pumpkin Pi</p>
<p>Q: What are a vampire's favourite snacks?<br/> A: Adam's apples and nectarines.</p>
<p>Q: What is a zombie's favourite dessert?<br/> A: Ladyfingers.</p>
<p>Q: Why do ghosts write in Latin?<br/> A: It's a dead language.</p>
<p>Q: Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?<br/> A: Because he didn't have any guts.</p>
<p>Q: What kind of car does a ghost drive?<br/> A: A Boo-ick.</p>
<p>Q: What do ghosts enjoy for lunch?<br/> A: Boologna sandwiches, peanutbooter cookies & a salad with boocheese dressing.</p>
<p>Q: What kind of dog does Dracula have?<br/> A: A Bloodhound!</p>
<p>Q: Where did they put Dracula when he was arrested?<br/> A: In a red bloodcell!</p>
<p>Q: What does Frankenstein serve for dessert?<br/> A: I Scream.</p>
<p>Q: What is Beethoven doing in his coffin right now?<br/> A: Decomposing.</p>
<p>Q: What is Dracula's favorite holiday?<br/> A: Fangsgiving!</p>
<p>Q: What do you give a vampire with a cold?<br/> A: Coffin Drops!</p>
<p>Q: Why did the vampire quit the baseball team?<br/> A: They would only let him be BAT boy!</p>
<p>Q: What kind of streets do zombies like the best?<br/> A: Dead ends...</p>
<p>Q: How do you fix a jack-o-lantern?<br/> A: With a pumpkin patch.</p>
<p>Q: What did the little monster have in his rock collection?<br/> A: Tombstones.</p> Sanitytag:teebeedee.ning.com,2020-10-12:1991841:Topic:18897132020-10-12T17:04:23.982ZGrandma Helenhttp://teebeedee.ning.com/profile/Helen
<p><a href="https://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/8028911864?profile=original" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><img src="https://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/8028911864?profile=RESIZE_710x" class="align-center"/></a></p>
<p><a href="https://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/8028911864?profile=original" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><img src="https://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/8028911864?profile=RESIZE_710x" class="align-center"/></a></p> Adultstag:teebeedee.ning.com,2020-10-11:1991841:Topic:18891302020-10-11T20:54:46.341ZGrandma Helenhttp://teebeedee.ning.com/profile/Helen
<p><a href="https://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/8024275681?profile=original" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><img src="https://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/8024275681?profile=RESIZE_710x" class="align-left"/></a></p>
<p><a href="https://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/8024275681?profile=original" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><img src="https://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/8024275681?profile=RESIZE_710x" class="align-left"/></a></p> Old Fathertag:teebeedee.ning.com,2020-10-01:1991841:Topic:18817952020-10-01T20:35:12.144ZGrandma Helenhttp://teebeedee.ning.com/profile/Helen
<p>DEFINE EMBARRASSMENT:<br></br>You take your 96 year old father who you're taking care of in his senior years to yet another doctors appointment.<br></br>Your first thoughts are, with this pandemic going on, I'm surprised at how many people are in this damned waiting room? There's got to be twenty patients in here!<br></br>So you just kinda go on about your business, reading a magazine and trying desperately not to make eye contact with anyone so you don't have to speak?<br></br>Next thing you know you hear…</p>
<p>DEFINE EMBARRASSMENT:<br/>You take your 96 year old father who you're taking care of in his senior years to yet another doctors appointment.<br/>Your first thoughts are, with this pandemic going on, I'm surprised at how many people are in this damned waiting room? There's got to be twenty patients in here!<br/>So you just kinda go on about your business, reading a magazine and trying desperately not to make eye contact with anyone so you don't have to speak?<br/>Next thing you know you hear a few smartassed snickers!<br/>You look up and there's your 96 year old dad, using a pair of your panties for a handkerchief!!!!!!<br/>WOULDN'T YOU JUST WANT TO CRAWL UNDER THE CHAIR AND HIDE?</p> Apartment Errortag:teebeedee.ning.com,2020-09-27:1991841:Topic:18779432020-09-27T01:48:54.154ZMimi58http://teebeedee.ning.com/profile/Mimi58
<p>Don't know why some can't view the image when it shows for me, but I'm editing this post to try again. Keep you fingers crossed! Hopefully you will see the newly uploaded image!</p>
<p><a href="https://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/7975090683?profile=original" rel="noopener" target="_blank"><img class="align-full" src="https://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/7975090683?profile=RESIZE_710x"></img></a> I left the first attempt to see if it shows up later on. OR maybe I can look at the code to see what went wrong.…</p>
<p><img class="post-photo_single-photo" src="https://img.mewe.com/api/v2/photo/DOqp5MCWw-5QJzjV7LXVm7ZdDFrGy5HkzwnN-evWnklfb6mK4SdsGNd6XnU/800x800/img?static=0"></img></p>
<p>Don't know why some can't view the image when it shows for me, but I'm editing this post to try again. Keep you fingers crossed! Hopefully you will see the newly uploaded image!</p>
<p><a href="https://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/7975090683?profile=original" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><img src="https://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/7975090683?profile=RESIZE_710x" class="align-full"/></a>I left the first attempt to see if it shows up later on. OR maybe I can look at the code to see what went wrong.</p>
<p><img class="post-photo_single-photo" src="https://img.mewe.com/api/v2/photo/DOqp5MCWw-5QJzjV7LXVm7ZdDFrGy5HkzwnN-evWnklfb6mK4SdsGNd6XnU/800x800/img?static=0"/></p> The Amish and the Elevatortag:teebeedee.ning.com,2020-09-26:1991841:Topic:18773582020-09-26T02:41:10.652ZMimi58http://teebeedee.ning.com/profile/Mimi58
<p><span style="font-size: 12pt;">An Amish girl and her mother were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. The girl asked, “Mother, what is this?”</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 12pt;">The mother, never having seen an elevator, responded, “I have never seen anything like this in my life. I don’t know what it is.”</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 12pt;">While the girl…</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 12pt;">An Amish girl and her mother were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. The girl asked, “Mother, what is this?”</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 12pt;">The mother, never having seen an elevator, responded, “I have never seen anything like this in my life. I don’t know what it is.”</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 12pt;">While the girl and her mother watched with amazement, an old man in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 12pt;">The walls opened and the man rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the girl and her mother watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until the last number was reached, and they watched some more as the numbers began to light in reverse order.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 12pt;">The walls opened up again and a hunky young man stepped out.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 12pt;">The mother, not taking her eyes off the young man, said quietly to her daughter, “Go get your father.”</span></p> Speeding...tag:teebeedee.ning.com,2020-09-23:1991841:Topic:18752132020-09-23T11:11:10.545ZJozeehttp://teebeedee.ning.com/profile/Josephine
<p><span>A police officer attempts to stop a car for speeding and the guy gradually increases his speed until he's topping 100 mph. The man eventually realizes he can't escape and finally pulls over. The cop approaches the car and says, "It's been a long day and my shift is almost over, so if you can give me a good excuse for your behavior, I'll let you go." The guy thinks for a few seconds and then says, "My wife ran away with a cop about a week ago. I thought you might be that officer trying…</span></p>
<p><span>A police officer attempts to stop a car for speeding and the guy gradually increases his speed until he's topping 100 mph. The man eventually realizes he can't escape and finally pulls over. The cop approaches the car and says, "It's been a long day and my shift is almost over, so if you can give me a good excuse for your behavior, I'll let you go." The guy thinks for a few seconds and then says, "My wife ran away with a cop about a week ago. I thought you might be that officer trying to give her back!"</span></p>