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When you were on your wild side . Did you meet someone in life that changed the Direction you were headed in your life to be whom you are today ?

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In my younger years I don't think I had a wild side, I was quiet and shy with no self confidence.

I started living and doing things later in life and had a few years of heavy drinking on weekends but they were fun times, no one changed my directions except me. I don't think I could still drink the way I used to and stay standing now.

I walked the straight and narrow as well.  Went to school, worked, got married, had kids, did more school, worked some more, more school, more work.  Waaaaaaaaaah!

And I have ALWAYS been married it seems.  

I did, however,  meet people along the way who changed who I am--changed the way I think.  Three times in my life I can honestly say I have felt connected to others on a different plane. One was a spiritual mentor. He died at 41 from Hodgkin's disease and I aksed him so many questions and he gave me books to read.

Another was my long term boyfriend between marriages. He was my physical mentor--oh yeah!~!!--but not just sex.  He dragged me into the woods and up the mountains and onto the water into situations that made me realize my connection to nature and how much that was missing throughout my life until that point. 

 

The last is my online friend who is so very very ill right now.  He is my intellectual mentor. He taught me to stand my ground, get my facts straight, and forgive--man did he teach me how to forgive because he can be quite obnoxious.

 

My husband has also taught me things.  He has taught me, by modeling the right way, to be more sensitive with my words--I am so abrupt.

It's funny that for me, it was men who really changed my life.

Oh, not totally  true. I have one friend, Gwen, who made me go to grad school, and another friend, Sonya, who taught me that it was okay to talk about almost anything at all. She kind of removed my filter.

I pretty much did everything I was SUPPOSED to do and behaved for the most part, though I did sneak in a little drinking party from time to time without my parents ever finding out. HOWEVER,  I found out just a couple years ago that my life COULD have been turned out PRETTY BAD! I was 18 and met a guy about 10 years older than me and considered marrying him.  One of the "cool" things (I thought AT THE TIME) was we went to a party at a mansion and PARTIED with the "Pirate Parrot"....Pittsburgh Pirate's mascot. (You know how ANY kind of fame at that age IS!!)

Well, a couple years ago, I moved BACK to PITT and I was just casually sharing the whole story with a co-worker and his mouth DROPPED and he said, WHAT was your BOYFRIEND"S name? He said, "OMG, he was arrested with the "Pirate Parrot"...they just got outta prison a few years ago for running a huge Cocaine Drug Ring......YIKES!!!  I may have went on to marry a JERK but at least he was a hard worker and stayed out of PRISON!!

 

Come to find out I must have married well twice....both of my exes stayed out of prison.

My first wife was the polar opposite of me and probably the biggest influence in my life.. She was serious, goal oriented, and motivated to succeed. I was pretty much carefree, into parties, drink, some pot, and gambling (poker at the local taverns). She started at the university 1 year after me and was teaching there by the time I graduated. I admired her tenacity and I guess she admired how I always enjoyed the moment. We married while I was still in school......8 years to get my bachelors, but I graduated only 1 1/2 years after I married her.....she taught me how to fly right in a wobbly sort of way.  She became an outstanding alumni of the university and I became Tonto. Ten years after we married, encouraged by her, I went back to school and got a Masters degree. Afterwards I became more and more successful and responsible....then a strange thing happened...... as I became more assertive about our life's path we kind of unraveled.......as Dan Fogelburg wrote 'it's never clear who should navigate and who's to steer" but it did become clear that we couldn't both navigate.

But I learned a lot from her......we split after 17 years. I often wonder what path I would have chosen on my own.....I'm thinking it might not have been good. I never lost my skewed outlook of life.....but I also learned how I could be very responsible without losing myself along the way.

Such interesting stories.  I love when a post makes me reflect on what happened in my life and I love reading what y'all write. Better than a novel sometimes. And, Uno. what a thoughtful reply! Usually you go for the fun route, which is great, but here, niiiiiiiiice.

 

While most of the people I grew up around thought I was some sort of wild animal, what I learned from them was not so much what I should be, and a lot more what I should NOT be - Under any circumstances.

Namely, like them.

I remember from things you've said in the past that you had it rough, Snagg.  Hard row to hoe.

All things added up, there are plenty of folks who had it much worse than I did. I just consider myself lucky that I didn't go down the same drain as did most of the people I knew back then.

Druggies and a pervert in the family that molested my baby sister and tried to molest me and mom protected the perv, I'm not kidding and I was granted permanent black sheep statis on her side of the family for acting out and kicking his ass. I think it was my friend Jeff that got me away from a coke head that helped me the most and I developed a quiet determination to be drug free. I withdrew and worked on it. Finished high school and was admitted to RIT for glass blowing. Well, anyway let's just say not all angels walk in heaven , some are earthbound as I have learned from experience. And I think I'm doing alright all things considered. Feel like I'm heading towards an upward spiral for the next couple of years.

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