computer datin back in the late 70's . we've come a long way baby ..

[frenchy]

yeah they had it back then .. they had them little pamphlets on the counters at dinners and deli's and liquor stores .. just sittin there sayin take one take one .. so .. one day i did .. i looked it over .. it seemed that at the time i had been meetin some really fruity nutcakes .. i was even startin to think i was some kinda physco magnet or somethin.. ehh .. it was the whole mr. goodbar thing back then tho .. aids wasn't on anybodies radar yet and i was fast approachin 30 and took a good look around .. somethin is missin .. where is that one person who really gets me .. so lookin over that computer datin pamphlet made sense .. it said that they could match you with someone who would be so much more your type than you could find on your own .. cause they would use a computer and go by the answers you gave to their very very special questionaire .. very scientific and all that bs .. kinda like that one they have now .. eharmony .. where they match you on 29 important points .. i think it cost like 25 bucks or somethin which if you do meet someone thats so in harmony with yourself is a real bargain doncha think ?? so i filled out my questionaire and mailed in my 25 bucks and waited to hear from the girl of my dreams .. so about a month or so goes by give or take and i get a letter sayin congratulations and there are three womens names and phone numbers .. so i start at the top and call .. she seemed nice enough but somehow i didn't feel anything on the phone .. you know how sometimes you can just get a sense about a person .. she didn't seem mean or cruel or anything like that .. just kinda .. depressed .. but we made a date for friday nite and she gave me directions .. i remember it was very very cold that nite when i set out to her house which was about 30 miles away .. i was drivin a 1967 ford fairlane ..4 door .. if it had an 8 cylinder i'd think it used to be an unmarked cop car but it only had a 6 so probably not .. so i get to her door and her mom answers .. i could hear her before she got to the door cause the house was shakin .. boom boom boom with each step .. and she called her daughter that her date was here .. and then i heard that boom boom boom again but her mom wasn't movin .. and it was gettin closer and down the stairs she came .. i swallowed hard and thought ok don't panic you signed on for this .. just be calm .. so out we went and we ended up at this corner bar and we had a couple of drinks and she started tellin me her story .. seems she had a boyfriend who took her to california and then stole her car and money and kicked her outta the house so she came back to her moms house in jersey.. and she wasn't too happy .. so i'm thinkin .. was it somethin i said on this questionaire ?? i didn't have anything in common with this poor girl .. and her bein about twice my size wasn't all that attractive .. i've always liked a girl with a little meat on her bones but this girl was way way way past that .. i was pretty sure i answered that question too .. i'm thinkin they got the applications mixed up .. thats gotta be it .. so not tryin to be rude i told her i do have to work tomorrow so i need to get goin so i took her back to her house and as i parked in front of her house she reached over and turned my engine off ..and then she grabbed me and said i had such a great time don't go yet .. i tried to wriggle free but she was a big girl and tried to push me down on the seat .. i started to panic i said no no no .. i have to work tomorrow .. i have to go .. and i pushed her back away from me .. but she kept commin back .. i thought oh shit .. i'm gonna have to knock her out or somethin .. i put the keys in the ignition and my car wouldn't start .. oh no .. it was so cold it wouldn't start .. so i was pushin her back with one arm and tryin to turn the key with the other .. and it was goin r.r.r.rrrrr..rrrr..r..r..and then finally vrooom .. i reached over and grabbed the door and opened it pushed her out and put the car in drive .. and i was gone .. 

on the way home i'm thinkin what could have gone wrong here ?? so i called the place and asked them if they got the right matches for me and they said oh yes .. sometimes things happen that are beyond the computers control but try the next name on the list and see .. so i said ok .. and i called the next name .. but this time i wanted some backround on her first .. so i asked a lot of questions .. it turned out this girl was seperated from her husband .. she was 5'2" and weighed 240 and had a broken leg so if we went out i might have to help her get around .. and i had to take her someplace really nice or she wouldn't even go .. the more i talked to her the more i didn't like her even if she was farah fawcett .. it wouldn't have helped .. i finally said never mind and goodby .. i never called the third girl on the list .. and it finally hit me .. i don't think they really matched people up by their questionaires .. i don't even think they had a computer .. so i did what i always did .. just picked a girl up in a bar on my way home from work .. yeah i know .. sounds kinda shallow .. but you stick with what works for ya..

so in conclusion if you think computer datin today is hell ?? well .. its better than it used to be .. believe me .. it's better than it was..     

[Lifesighs]

This made me laugh frenchy, it reminds me of a few blind dates I had one with an octopus or it seems like, he must have had at least eight arms all trying to grab something.

[Kim]

OMG, Frenchy....you had me TOTALLY laughing my a$$ off!! That is TRULY computer dating gone wrong!! I know it was discouraging at the time but good for a laugh NOW!! LOL!!

[Karin M Fichtner]

That's like a bad dream you can't wake up from! 

I had a blind date I had to jump out of the car at a red light to get away from! I ran into an Italian restaurant on that corner and called my friend to come pick me up.  He went around the block a few times.....and then he left.  (Whew!)  He was the first.....and LAST....Frenchman I ever dated.