This is completely just for laughs.... Do NOT think of posting anything serious or thought provoking here...EVER!
I mean it...... :-)
Texas Constructs U.S. Border Wall To Keep Out Unwanted Americans
WICHITA FALLS, TX—Calling it an essential step toward securing the Texas border and
protecting his people’s way of life, Gov. Rick Perry announced Tuesday the completion
of a 1,953-mile wall designed to keep out millions of unwanted Americans.
According to Perry, the 75-foot-high barricade running along the northern boundary is
the culmination of more than 160 years of escalating tensions between Texas and the
Though a protective barrier has been under consideration for decades, the Texas
Legislature voted unanimously to begin construction on the project immediately
following the 2012 presidential election.
“As governor, it is my responsibility to do whatever’s necessary to maintain the
territorial integrity of Texas,” Perry told reporters during a press conference held
inside a sniper tower overlooking Oklahoma. “If you are a Texas citizen, you shouldn’t
have to worry about some American coming in here, using your goods and services, and
taking away your job.”
“Let the record show I have nothing personal against Americans,” Perry added. “I just
think they should stay in America, where they belong.”
The wall is comprised of six security layers: a razor-wire fence equipped with motion
sensors, surveillance cameras, and guard towers; a 70-foot-wide trench with expert
marksmen stationed along its perimeter; a roadway patrolled by armed vehicles equipped
with synchronized electromagnetic wave gradiometers to detect Americans attempting to
tunnel their way into Texas; and a second, third, and fourth fence.
The final section of the barricade, a reinforced concrete enclosure containing the
city of Austin, will be finished by August 2014.
“These Americans are destroying the moral and social fabric of our state,” said Rep.
Chris Turner, who added that he worries when he looks around Texas and sees people
from places like Pennsylvania, Iowa, and Vermont. “The man who used to repair my truck
was replaced by some mechanic who moved in here from Kansas. Lately I can’t go to the
store or the bank without running into all kinds of these foreigners. This wall is the
only hope we have of keeping Texas safe.”
“The truth is, Americans are just different from us,” Turner added. “We don’t even
speak the same language.”
According to Texas Army National Guard Brig. Gen. Tom Alford, Americans will only be
permitted to cross the border if they have immediate family living in Texas, in which
case they can apply for a 90-minute monitored visitation to be held inside a
checkpoint detention facility.
However, Alford stressed that any American attempting to transport barbecue sauce,
beef jerky, belt buckles, or longhorn cattle back to the United States will face the
Thus far, a majority of Texas citizens support the border wall, with nearly 8 million
signing up to join a coalition of Minutemen that will guard the fence.
“These good-for-nothing Americans want to come in here and wait in the same lines as
me, watch the same movies, and eat at the same restaurants,” El Paso resident and
border patrol volunteer Larry Carlile told reporters. “Who do they think they are? I’d
never dare waltz into America and act like I owned the place. That country’s a
godforsaken hellhole, anyway.”
“Round ‘em up and get ‘em out,” Carlile added. “Go back to Los Angeleees or whatever
you call it.”
Since the wall’s completion, there has been no official comment from Washington.
However, sources close to President Obama said that upon being informed of Gov.
Perry’s announcement the commander in chief muttered, “Thank God.”
(This story was adapted slightly from another. The original story can be found at “The
Onion” by clicking here)
OOOOOO I have a set of alphabet stamps. That gives me a whole bunch of ideas.
Take pictures Merry!
Don't you know it!! ^^^^ Mr Teebs.....:-)
That something my late husband would have done. Bless his heart. Loved that man.