TBD on Ning

              I am starting a new thread here mainly for purposes of my own catharsis. It is my intention, at least at this point, to make regular contributions. Of course, if anyone else has anything to add, they are more than welcome. If you have any input, please contribute.

              Over a year ago I decided to deal head-on with my self-diagnosed adult attention disorder, (ADD). The inability to stay focused was becoming too stressful. I found myself sitting around watching the clock tick, yet I couldn’t keep “on task” with any project I started. Nothing was getting done and just starting something was becoming depressing.

              The smart thing to do was probably to get professional help, so instead I decided to try to heal myself, at least as a first try. Cognitive therapy and pharmaceuticals (UGH) might be the approved way to go but I decided to try meditation first.

              18 months and countless self-help books later, I still can’t bring myself to a regular, formal meditation program. But, along the way, I discovered informal mindfulness. Yes, I know it is the “Fad” right now. It is hard to navigate modern social trends without “tripping over” somebody extolling the benefits of mindfulness.

              Let me add my voice to the chorus.

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I guess you're right about the high stress of people in the medical/therapeutic help profession, Angharad: a few yrs back, at my M.D.'s insistence, I went to see a psychiatrist. At 1st I thought she was great: when I mentioned in passing that I liked to read sociology, she got a big smile on her face, leaned fwd & said, "Wow, sociology? That's cool!" And it made me feel so good--becuz I don't remember the last time anybody told me that they thought anything I did or thought was cool--that I got tears in my eyes. Welp, about 24 hrs later I wised up & thought to myself, "Oh, grow up! This gal's getting paid to try to make you feel good about yourself; she couldn't care less what you like to read!" So at the next session a week later, I decided to try something & mentioned again that I liked to read sociology & got a bored, "Oh, really? That's nice" and she didn't even look up or acknowledge that I had said that before. I know she's got a lot of patients but she had been taking notes all the time, but I guessed she missed it when I said it the 1st time. I also didn't like the fact that when I told her I'd been searching for a long time for a group where I could experience fellowship, etc. & hadn't been able to find anywhere I fit in--in a conservative area where almost all of the gals in my age grp are churchgoing enthusiastic grandmas; I'm neither--and when she suggested I attend a church & I told her (nicely, I swear!) that wouldn't be my cuppa tea since I'm an atheist, she frowned & took a step back from me & told me our time was up. So I never went back. I also around that time walked into our county's mental health services office & was feeling so down I had tears in my eyes & asked (nicely again, I swear!) about any kind of groups where I could get some support & was frowned at & told "No, we don't have the funding for anything like THAT." 

Oh, do I wish I could move out of this area...Sorry for the rant, thanks for listening; thank goodness for the internet eh?

I am on the Email list for the weekly bulletin from a Unitarian Universalist Church about 20 miles from my home. I honestly think that they are liberal enough to accept me as is (atheist) as long as I was on board with their progressive social programs and sufficiently respectful of the spiritual positions of their other members. I would like to try, but I just don't want to travel that far right now.

I know what you mean, PTB; there's a Unitarian Church here in my town & while I think they would accept me as an atheist, they at the same time seem to be the kind of church that is frequently nagging people to be active in progressive stuff all the time. I do try to do as much of that as I can, but when I don't feel up to it I'd not take well to being shamed or scolded about it. Same thing I fear with the atheist grp here in town; also I hear it's mostly fulla 50ish horndog guys trying to meet young (therefore wouldn't be a prob. for me, haha) gals, they say these guys literally show up with the ol' bandaid on the wedding ring finger thing going on...seriously, guys? Sigh.

Wow, stay away from that.

Yep, last thing I need; way too many uncontrolled horndogs in too many positions of power these days as it is...

No kidding!

I just read your post, OR. Wow, so many thoughts. 

First off, I like you and always have. I find what you say interesting, because it is (how's THAT for a pronouncement?!). And--lol--probably, in part, because I'm hardly what one would call "traditional" myself, and it's nice to feel a kinship to someone, which I do to you.

I empathize with getting the runaround from medical professionals of all types. It doesn't feel good! Especially if you're a person who doesn't often ask for help--getting ignored then is especially humiliating (for me, at least). It's FAR too long a story, but I spent years saying that something was terribly wrong with me physically, only to be passed around like a hot potato. When a major illness was found, they lumped everything under that, even though I said, "I might have disease X, but I know that's not the underlying problem." This is a situation which happens increasingly now--I know many people in the same boat.

As for psychologists and the like, it's like shopping for clothes. You have to find one at least as smart as you are, who feels "comfortable" to interact with. As someone who was on a path to being a psychiatrist, I know the truth of the statement, "psychological professionals are all nuts!" HAHAHA! So, if you can, just keep shopping.

My family were mostly Unitarians. You and PTB are right about the inclusion and acceptance, and equally right about the pushy social consciousness--which is good, to a point. Of course, the level of pushiness depends on the congregation, I guess. I call myself a "reluctant atheist."  I did, however, find fellowship for a while at a Metropolitan Community Church (MCC--an LGBT-established and friendly church) which generally is very inclusive.

If you have a university near you, there are often lots of groups to attend for just about everything. Also, hospitals are often the center for groups. Looking online for organizations to check out works too.  

Yeah, I want to get away from where I live too, but no chance. I see you live in Chico--yup, too bad you can't get closer to the coast where things get considerably wackier, in a good way. I lived in CA off and on growing up (Navy brat), but always on the coast. Maybe, as you say, it's just a matter of finding non-traditional people our age, wherever we live. Easier said than done.  

Last year my wife and I joined a Senior Circle group at our local hospital. They had social and informational activities and some perks at the hospital. 2 months later the hospital was sold and the new owners dumped the program.

Par for the course.

Yep, it's the same at our local university--where I used to actually work but I was "only a clerical employee" (that's the way it was actually said to my face by the degreed profs when I'd try to tell them something)--the univ. has cut back on a lot of their programs and the ones they do have are hard to join, for instance, the univ. is the only place within 100 miles of here that has a feminist grp & only those that have a degree or are getting a degree can join; I checked: no exceptions. And the same situation at our hospital; they had a really good grief counseling program, sliding scale payment so it was pretty reasonable that my stepmother made use of when my dad died; she said it was a big help. Welp, when I tried to use it a few yrs later when my mom died, it had been cancelled due to no more therapists being willing to volunteer their time. Same story in a lotta places, I guess.

And now the new company is closing entirely one of the three hospitals they bought, the one I was born in.

"Feelings come and go like clouds in a windy sky. Conscious breathing is my anchor."  Thich Nhat Hahn




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