I work for SPIT. That's the SOCIETY for the PRESERVATION of INSECT TERRITORIES. Our goal is basically to protect all insects,especially those on the endangered species list. SPIT is an organization made up of dedicated environmentalists, entomologists,engineers, social workers,and pioneers of advanced research in every branch of science. We at SPIT share one philosophy: to insure that insects are never denied the inalienable rights of man. We feel there is more than enough room and food for both man and insects to share on this planet.
SPIT has its main locations in our factory in Hackensack, NJ and a pristine swamp area on Eastern Long Island,NY.That's where I come in. My job is making sure that sewers,cesspools, and water holes are always filled with stagnant water so that mosquito larvae can one day experience the miracle of flight as adult mosquitoes.
All species of insects will live long and prosper with the help of SPIT. Maggots will enjoy our smorgasbord of designated garbage dumps and deer droppings. Lights will never go out on a firefly with micro fluorescent implants. Skilled plastic surgeons can repair a procumbent proboscis on a butterfly. A carapace replacement on a beetle is a common procedure. Likewise,a prosthetic leg on a silverfish will keep him scurrying in your bathtub. Our orthopedic orthoptera winged division will enable swarms of injured locusts back to flying over their fields of dreams. Ants will be welcome at our picnics. Termites will never starve in our sanctioned forest preserves.
Our motto when it comes to bedbugs is.."Please join our fight.Let the bedbugs bite." With SPIT on their side, insects don't need to hide. I hope I can count on your support and salivation.