If that is the impression you got I am sorry. I merely wanted to know if anyone else had this experience on here. I am flattered that so many people have rushed to me side and offered me support, however, I know that if I wanted I could lay these people flat. I could easily do exactly what they have done to me without too much thought. I do not feel like a victim. If I was really disturbed take assertive action. At the present it is like having a fly in your house.
I have not taken part in trying to as you say create "a self perpetuated pedestal." I am actually humbled by the compliments. I only ever try to speak from my heart. A part of me is feeling somewhat remorseful that I opened this can of worms if it has caused further strive.
Apparently Grace Linda, Several people have and have posted here. What you did was to open up a forum for this discussion, which is not openly accepted by all people. But then what is on a social net work. Many have stated that you are more than capable of standing up for yourself and I have no reason to doubt that. However I think some posters are just as disturbed about it as you were when you opened the discussion.
No person likes being followed around for the mere pleasure of others trying to make them look a fool or discredit them. Those who will not or refuse to address it or see it have not had it done to them. They say don't whine and then they go whine about themselves somewhere else. It is no different discussing this here than it is for those who are bullies to be doing the bulling on an open thread. I don't know about what happened to you, but I do know that I have been attacked, lie about and slandered on the front page, I had not mentioned it or brought it up, because I thought perhaps those people had found a new toy by now. However I was incorrect, they came over here and tried starting "round about Q&A's and threads even now. They know who they are and ONLY they know why they continue to do it.
I have expressed nothing to them about their lies, their open slander of my name and my family none of whom were there to defend themselves. Not one question was ever asked except those who were wise enough and "friend" enough to check the facts. See those who do this do not want the truth, if they did they would have waited and asked me. Or as so many did ask my family. Or how about the two TBD members that came to visit me in person. Yes there is some hurt there, for I did absolutely not one thing to the two people that claimed to be my online "friends". I will never know why and I do not need to know why. However I do know that division is not what I see in you thread, I know division is not any part of my participation in this thread.
It is an issue, and it only causes separation when people will not discuss it. When TRR said that she felt I was personally attacking her yesterday I immediately apologized to her, now that is all I can do. I did not mean to personalize anything to her, or at her, I do not know her. I simply wanted you to have your side heard also. So I posed a question. I saw how she could feel that I was attacking so I right here in this forum apologized. Now that is where things show who people are. When someone has the heart to apologize on post, I think then it becomes the others person who accepts or not. But when people openly attack you by name...and attack who you are, and the very fact that you even exist and they never even have any proof or anything to back it up but a hunch or jealousy of their lack of attention or whatever. When people openly say you should be dead. Well you see I take that personal. So yes to those who are making it seem like there is absolutely nothing wrong with online bulling or online attacks, yes there is. It is not the end of the world and yes there are millions of issues and problems and things going on in the world. But why not some true unity if unity is all you want.
When you see and you know that someone is being bullied stand up and say so, make it not ok to do that. It has nothing to with feeling sorry for ones self or being "self absorbed" as Mr. Kremis posted, for some of us it has to do with being openly wronged and good people not taking a stand for whats right.
So yes Grace it has happened to more than just you and No Grace I do not feel that it is ok, correct or should be accepted by good people in a community. I love my friends on line, and much good has come from the things I have learned from my own situation. However it is still going on and it's going on today. So I do not think people should come in here ready to make light of something they have not experienced, or rip someones head off because they just want it all to go away. To those to whom it has been and/or is being done, I would like it to go away as well.
And no "person" it is not about you wanting to have people know truth, for there was not one, not one word of truth in the slandering posts you alone posted about me. Why not just come clean admit that you are sadly mistaken, I love you and you can't change that. But you could make your mistakes right by having the gut you had to post such things when I couldn't even speak for myself. Sad, and yes I do care. People matter to me. Peace, yes I would love it...let's do have some peace..
The sad truth is Michael I do love them, even when I am picked at for being who I am. For being loving or as kind as I know to be. I really do and I took some of these people at their word. I have no other desire but to walk with, to have peace. So thank you for the encouragement. I do love them no matter what they do. I can't always walk with them, and some don't want that anyway. But I can still be, I will not apologize for not dying three months ago. That would be to slap my creator in the face. But let's at least be fair here. Grace brought up a sore subject because it should have been dealt with and wasn't and now it is to some degree because the community is running itself with more people looking out for the over all well being of the entire community. It's not an argument to me, I would like to know why. I am functioning without an answer, but I think I am due one. I wasn't here when it happened to me in a huge way the first time. I am here now though and a few are still trying every little chance they get. I still post as often as I can, almost daily now for weeks. That isn't the issue. It's why does this have to take place at all in a civilized society?
Dear God on heaven....I am really ebarrassed for these folks who attack ppl, esp when they r down, I can't even mention DYING!., I Pray 2 GOD & Anything & Everything if Goodness that these ppl are ANYTHING BUT PArents teaching their children this way of behaving, or treating their spouses & so claimed friends in a manner such A's this or god forbid a church goer, FREE 'Thinker' (???) or Community Leader, or daughter son or sibiling of someone who deserves to be around or entrusted to an adult slandering bully with nothing to contribute but false accusation with no remorse whatsoever!! The type of ppl I have ever known of that sound like that are criminals with NO conscience. Really, I mean Gov Arnold just released 30,0000 of em,...what, did they wander their way over here for kicks?? We should all think, much less believe, that that's just OKie Dokie, right? What a Violation! That is SICK if I am hearing right. This must stop Picture talking to to her face to face in front of the person you desire respect & love from standing next to you. Yes, there is a snowball effect to this type of behaviour & condoning it. I swear, I don't ever want to hear one more word about the sad sorry state of the world or our children or our nation uttered from another slanderous person: UNTIL IMMEDIATE AMENDS ARE MADE AT THE VEY LEAST! This is UNEXCEPTIBLE! Would you talk to or treat ur dying mother, father, husband, child friend this way? I PRAY I really do That by the time I am done writing this MESSAGE that this will finally be RESOLVED. You know, I tell my daughter of the beautiful ppl here, the truly good ppl I have had the honor & privelage to meet & even befriend a few really good ones. I, at this point am... Too embarrased to even - I am stunned, this is foul. I realize ppl are having a really difficult cpl of years here but we are grown ups in a social setting that should in no way be of harmful intent & such distain. Tina I am so sorry what has been done to you, my god. I hope & pray for those who are this vicious. In legal terms it's called liable...& slander is subject Still to law Penalties in addition moral ones! Thank you DHBE & Mikie, U R da MAN! I still keep hearin Rodney King sayin "Cant we all just get along", not to mention Martin Luther, JFK +++ IF YA AINT GOT NOTHIN NICE TO SAY-TRY NOT SAYIN ANYTHING AT ALL! Aren't we suppose to be playing by the rules here? Everyone signed into Community Guidlines?
God Bless ya Catnip!!! Honestly... Some ppl, "FREE SPEACH".... my point exactly! Do you Vote with this kinda mouth too slander's & joker's of the deathly ill? Kiss ur wife or mama or kiddies with the same heart? & I'll be sure to reread the guidelines, bec I'm pretty certain Robin wouldn't open up this group to Liable...wouldn't be worth it to me to do so... And just a lil throw in FYI... I see my distant relatives writings thrown conveinently about to serve, at times, self-absorbed quotations... Keep in mind that online, you never know who's dining with who the author is... And no, I do not feel superior to anyone! Physcian heal thyself...
In many ways it was my fault Catnip, I shared myself and my life with many here. I had nothing to hide and I am a trusting person. Had I never shared with some and then openly no one would have even known. So to my own fault that they had it to use.
Also to my own fault was that I believed that those with whom I had believed I had been online friends with would want to know if I were dead or alive. They seemed genuine to me. So Again my fault because I made my sisters two of them promise that if and/or when I could not get on line they would let people know how I was doing. One sister did, that I know of. She went directly to the person I had told her to and that person was very nice at first and loving and helpful, as it has been explained to me it was when my sister went to this "friend" of mine and asked if she should tell everyone who she was that the "friend" became ugly and upset. That "friend" is actually the one who told my sister to go ahead and do it, tell everyone who she was and just give first hand information. It wasn't but days after that that my sister was challenged by another member and accused of not being my sister. I haven't a clue who she was supposed to be but apparently not my sister.
She left but told people she was leaving and when she did she was attacked on the Q&A told she was a liar and that if she were in the right she wouldn't be leaving. Well she left. Not everyone is accustomed to brawls online or otherwise. My familt is not like that, we don't act like that, sorry for those who think that is just too unreal or too, "lovey dovey". But we have known our share of pain we just support each other not attack.
So this too was my fault, the endless care giver, I was trying to be a good friend even when I couldn't do it myself.
Anyway then came the slanderous attacks on front page discussions, I have each one printed, dated and just as they were posted. A lifelong friend of mine Ray did all of this, because he was irate with what was going on and that no one was stopping it. So he printed everything so that if I did come around I would not go back online or to TBD. I was shocked, My first friend, very first friend on TBD was there posting that I was not sick and a friend said I would be dead if I had those illness', that I am not part Sioux because I never talked about the reservation they lived near. That I do not quilt, because I did not use the correct termanology for quilting. That my sister was not my sister because she knew too much about me? That because I was not having a funeral I wasn't truly sick. All sorts of malicious gossip and thoughts nothing based on fact or whatever.
So I blame myself for this also, because I never had to share myself out loud, but I did. I trust everyone. I liked everyone. I debated and posted, I sent good morning messages and yes I had a little group too. TBD was a gift to me and I don't know how many times I emailed to thank Kat. TBD was my connection, is my connection to the world. I have been visited by two TBD members in person, I have spoken with several on the phone, TBD members called family members (three different family members) and grilled them to pieces over the phone. I mean I had no clue all of this was going on at the time. How hurtful to wake up to. How absurd and never would I have imagined such a thing.
Of course I came back as soon as I was able. Why would I not. I have genuine friends here. I love this community. Why would I not come back here. I never wanted to leave, I am sick, I was sick and I am not going to say I am sorry that I did not die to appease some sick cynical thinking process of someone else.
I am Tina, I am all and everything I ever claimed to be and I am very sorry for those who choose to hate me for that. I do not hate you and I am not going anywhere until I have to or choose to. All I am asking is that I be allowed freely to not have to watch for someone to start up yet another nasty discussion when they are intending to further bash me. I can do no more to "prove" who I am..Nor more than you can "prove" you are not starting those discussions about me. I know who I am, you know who you are. I do not bother you, with the exception I just learned today that Larry and Diana do not want good morning messages from me, I apologize, it is my nature to be kind, make kind gestures. I won't do it to you either of you again. You want it to end truly, do you? Stop the gossip, many of the pm's sent have come right to me people. No one on here is who you think they are. Stop the gossip and just hate me quietly please. I love this community and I will not be bullied away...
The two I thought were my trusted friends, I know you better now, Leave it and me alone. If you hate me for your reasons please just leave it alone. I am not doing a thing to you and have no desire to. To the few others who wish to hate me because I like peace, or to leave pleasant nice thoughts around, I am at a loss for words on that. I am going to post, just leave it and I will skip over you also. Life is good , I am thankful for every day I have. Please do you truly want it to end, or do you just wish to bully me..Now Jo and JaW, who post long posts? LoL
To those who say this is drama, Yes it was very dramatic when I read those papers of all those threads and Q&A's and posts, that went on for weeks. It was dramatic. Yet all I could think about was I wanted to come back.
I am simply thankful to be alive folks and thankful for those who are friends. I am a loving person and I do enjoy kindness and I do not feel badly about that.
You do not have to love, like or even think of me. I would ask that you focus then on your friends here and I will do the same and life will be pleasant for all of us. Thanks