Blondes, Aggies, Pollocks, Morons, Little Patsy, Lena and Ole - TBD2024-03-29T15:56:16Zhttp://teebeedee.ning.com/forum/topics/blondes-aggies-pollocks-morons-little-patsy-lena-and-ole?groupUrl=keeplaughing&commentId=1991841%3AComment%3A1860172&groupId=1991841%3AGroup%3A1631&feed=yes&xn_auth=noOne day, a housework-challeng…tag:teebeedee.ning.com,2024-02-14:1991841:Comment:20199182024-02-14T19:11:39.576ZAggiehttp://teebeedee.ning.com/profile/Aggie
<p>One day, a housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to his wife, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?”<br/> "It depends," she replied. "What does it say on your shirt?”<br/> He yelled back, "Texas A & M."</p>
<p>One day, a housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to his wife, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?”<br/> "It depends," she replied. "What does it say on your shirt?”<br/> He yelled back, "Texas A & M."</p> Johnny, 16 years old and an a…tag:teebeedee.ning.com,2024-01-30:1991841:Comment:20195382024-01-30T15:21:55.215ZAggiehttp://teebeedee.ning.com/profile/Aggie
<p>Johnny, 16 years old and an altar boy in the local Catholic church, goes to confession.<br></br> "Forgive me father, for I have sinned. I had "relations" with a loose girl."<br></br> The priest, recognizing his voice, says "Oh my, Johnny. This is very serious! I simply MUST know who it was so we can solve this problem. Was it Cathy Jones?"<br></br> "Father, I'm sorry, I can't say. I'm sworn to protecting her identity so as not to further ruin her repuation."<br></br> "Johnny, I can't accept that answer. Was…</p>
<p>Johnny, 16 years old and an altar boy in the local Catholic church, goes to confession.<br/> "Forgive me father, for I have sinned. I had "relations" with a loose girl."<br/> The priest, recognizing his voice, says "Oh my, Johnny. This is very serious! I simply MUST know who it was so we can solve this problem. Was it Cathy Jones?"<br/> "Father, I'm sorry, I can't say. I'm sworn to protecting her identity so as not to further ruin her repuation."<br/> "Johnny, I can't accept that answer. Was it Julie O'Malley?"<br/> "Father, please... I really can't say."<br/> "Johnny, I IMPLORE you to tell me, so I can save her as well. Was it Lisa Murdoch?"<br/> "Father, for the last time, I am sworn to secrecy."<br/> The priest sighs in resignation, and says "Very well, Johnny. You are to say 5 Hail Mary's and you are suspended from altar boy duties for 4 months!"<br/> Later that day, Johnny finds Pete, his best friend, also an altar boy. Pete says "OK, Johnny... so what did you get?"<br/> "Four months vacation and three great leads!"</p> *A school inspector is visiti…tag:teebeedee.ning.com,2024-01-27:1991841:Comment:20198392024-01-27T13:44:24.198ZAggiehttp://teebeedee.ning.com/profile/Aggie
<p>*A school inspector is visiting a 8th Standard class in a school .*<br></br> He is introduced to the class by the teacher, Miss Yvonne.<br></br> She says to the class: "Let's show the inspector just how clever you are by allowing him to ask you a question."<br></br> The inspector decides to ask a Biblical question. He says, "Class, who broke down the walls of Jericho?"<br></br> For a full minute there is absolute silence. All the children just stare at him blankly.<br></br> Eventually Thomas raises his hand and…</p>
<p>*A school inspector is visiting a 8th Standard class in a school .*<br/> He is introduced to the class by the teacher, Miss Yvonne.<br/> She says to the class: "Let's show the inspector just how clever you are by allowing him to ask you a question."<br/> The inspector decides to ask a Biblical question. He says, "Class, who broke down the walls of Jericho?"<br/> For a full minute there is absolute silence. All the children just stare at him blankly.<br/> Eventually Thomas raises his hand and the Inspector points excitedly to him.<br/> Thomas stands up and says: "Sir, I don't know who broke down the walls of Jericho, but it wasn't me."<br/> The inspector looks at the Miss Yvonne for an explanation. She says, "Well, I've known Thomas and his family for many years and I believe that if he says that he didn't do it, then he didn't do it."<br/> The inspector is shocked at the level of ignorance. He storms down to the Principal's office and tells him what happened.<br/> The Principal replies, "Look, I don't know the boy, but I socialise every now and then with his teacher and I believe her. If Mis Yvonne feels that the boy was not involved, then he must be innocent."<br/> The inspector can't believe what he is hearing. He grabs the phone on the Principal's desk, dials the Education Minister and relates the entire episode, and asks him what he thinks of the education standard in the school.<br/> The Minister sighs heavily and replies, "Arre Inspoector mhojea bhava, you know I'm very bezy. I don't know the boy, the teacher or the principal. Just get three competitive quotes, add 30% for me, and have the wall fixed by my brother-in-law.</p> tag:teebeedee.ning.com,2024-01-22:1991841:Comment:20196292024-01-22T14:23:13.071ZAggiehttp://teebeedee.ning.com/profile/Aggie
<p><a href="https://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/12256837678?profile=original" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><img src="https://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/12364365253?profile=RESIZE_710x" width="300" class="align-full"/></a></p>
<p><a href="https://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/12256837678?profile=original" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><img src="https://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/12364365253?profile=RESIZE_710x" width="300" class="align-full"/></a></p> tag:teebeedee.ning.com,2024-01-20:1991841:Comment:20196182024-01-20T19:07:24.680ZAggiehttp://teebeedee.ning.com/profile/Aggie
<p><a href="https://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/12256837678?profile=original" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><img src="https://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/12361992692?profile=RESIZE_710x" width="300" class="align-full"/></a></p>
<p><a href="https://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/12256837678?profile=original" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><img src="https://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/12361992692?profile=RESIZE_710x" width="300" class="align-full"/></a></p> When the student goes to turn…tag:teebeedee.ning.com,2024-01-19:1991841:Comment:20195002024-01-19T16:07:24.044ZAggiehttp://teebeedee.ning.com/profile/Aggie
<p>When the student goes to turn in his exam, the professor tells him "l'm not going to accept this, you didn't put your pencil down when I said to."</p>
<p>"Do you have any idea who I am?" The student says, snobbily.</p>
<p>"I don't have the slightest idea who you are and I don't care," the professor retorted.</p>
<p>"Good." The student replied as he slipped his exam into the middle of the stack and walked away.</p>
<p>When the student goes to turn in his exam, the professor tells him "l'm not going to accept this, you didn't put your pencil down when I said to."</p>
<p>"Do you have any idea who I am?" The student says, snobbily.</p>
<p>"I don't have the slightest idea who you are and I don't care," the professor retorted.</p>
<p>"Good." The student replied as he slipped his exam into the middle of the stack and walked away.</p> Grandma's letter Grandma is e…tag:teebeedee.ning.com,2023-10-25:1991841:Comment:20163322023-10-25T03:12:20.763ZAggiehttp://teebeedee.ning.com/profile/Aggie
<p>Grandma's letter<br></br> Grandma is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car.<br></br> She writes: <br></br> Dear Grand-daughter, <br></br> The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a 'Honk if you love Jesus' bumper sticker . <br></br> I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting..<br></br> So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.<br></br> Boy, am I glad I did; what an uplifting…</p>
<p>Grandma's letter<br/> Grandma is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car.<br/> She writes: <br/> Dear Grand-daughter, <br/> The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a 'Honk if you love Jesus' bumper sticker . <br/> I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting..<br/> So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.<br/> Boy, am I glad I did; what an uplifting experience that followed.<br/> I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good he is, and I didn't notice that the light had changed.<br/> It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't' honked, I'd never have noticed.<br/> I found that lots of people love Jesus!<br/> While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, 'For the love of God!' 'Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO!'<br/> What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus!<br/> Everyone started honking!<br/> I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all those loving people.<br/> I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love!<br/> There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a sunny beach.<br/> I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air.<br/> I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant.<br/> He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something.<br/> Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii , so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign right back.<br/> My grandson burst out laughing.<br/> Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!!A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me.<br/> I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed.<br/> So, grinning, I waved at all my brothers and sisters, and drove on through the intersection.<br/> I noticed that I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared.<br/> So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away. <br/> Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!!<br/> Will write again soon,<br/> Love,<br/> Grandma</p> If the earth is the third pla…tag:teebeedee.ning.com,2023-08-11:1991841:Comment:20142892023-08-11T20:51:34.254ZAggiehttp://teebeedee.ning.com/profile/Aggie
<p>If the earth is the third planet from the sun, so does that make every country a third world country?</p>
<p>If the earth is the third planet from the sun, so does that make every country a third world country?</p> I sent one of those ancestry…tag:teebeedee.ning.com,2023-08-10:1991841:Comment:20142852023-08-10T16:24:30.775ZAggiehttp://teebeedee.ning.com/profile/Aggie
<p>I sent one of those ancestry groups information for my family tree they sent me some seeds and suggested I start over.</p>
<p>I sent one of those ancestry groups information for my family tree they sent me some seeds and suggested I start over.</p> A young Catholic woman goes i…tag:teebeedee.ning.com,2023-08-03:1991841:Comment:20136452023-08-03T15:57:57.589ZAggiehttp://teebeedee.ning.com/profile/Aggie
<p>A young Catholic woman goes into the confessional and is crying. The priest is wondering what is wrong. She says, Father I am pregnant. He asked her, how did this happen? She said it must be the second coming. He said, my child what do you mean by that? She said, it has to be the second coming because I swallowed the first.</p>
<p>A young Catholic woman goes into the confessional and is crying. The priest is wondering what is wrong. She says, Father I am pregnant. He asked her, how did this happen? She said it must be the second coming. He said, my child what do you mean by that? She said, it has to be the second coming because I swallowed the first.</p>